Recalled To Life

I am resurrecting this blog. Maybe. Stay tuned.

Things Never To Do Again:

Drink.

Ughhhhhhh.

Dear Diary.

I’ve gone through my emergency NyQuil supply and my Amadeus DVD refuses to play past the part where Salieri says “From now on….you and I…are… enemies” to the crucifix hanging on the wall above his harpsichord, which I understand to be a hint that it might be time for me to reflect on some previously mentioned bad/really really bad decisions, i.e. this:

Hello, new arm! I wonder if you guys can see the file name? It’s “oops.jpg.” GET IT?

No but srsly. This “sick tat bro” balances precariously on some weird invisible line that probably only I recognize which exists between meaningful and totally impulsive/ridiculous. As funny as it would be to tell everyone that I basically got a tattoo as an excuse to cut my cognitive neuroscience class, the truth is I’ve been patiently waiting to summon the balls to get “inked” (read: tatoooed, but I was also hoping to get ink squirted on me by a defensive octopus – or do squids to that? squids? squid) for almost two years. I don’t need to defend myself by going into the “significance” of it, and besides it’s a secret so there!

Anyway, I like it and word on the street is that it makes me look “tough,” although as of now I have managed only to intimidate a nine-year-old girl taking ballet lessons in my office building and I can’t even think about telling my mom about it without peeing myself.

Is it really December?

About that tattoo…

Yeah hi, I actually have it.

What the fuck.

Are you there, Blog? It’s me, Jess.

Dear Cyberworld,

Here I am, starting my fifth blog. It’s raining. The house smells like chicken. I want to go to sleep.

Do not expect anything better than this.

Testing!!!

Wow, hey internet! This is sooooo great! I can’t wait to write in here more about my life, friends, experiences… well, everything!!! 

See you soon!